Letting go of emotion is a skill..and it can be learnt
'Chin up' or 'Just let it go' can be words that easily slip out from well-meaning people who are around you when you're stuck in an emotion. It may well be their go-to strategy of how to handle your distress if they are at loss of what to say or how to help you.
Whilst the person is likely well meaning, it is rarely welcomed advice by the recipient, who inside may be left thinking 'if only it was that easy'. You can feel consumed with repeating thoughts whilst stuck in the emotion.
It always seems to be the upsetting ones we get stuck in! It is a sad fact that it is often the negative things we are left dwelling on and not the happy thoughts or dwelling on how well something went
Shame can also be added to the mix with thoughts of 'why can't I just let it go and move on?'
If you've found yourself in this pattern I'd like to offer that you are not alone.
It is not unusual when something feels like a loss or threat to us that the thoughts and emotion can stay with us while we are trying to make sense of it.
Being able to 'let go' and self-regulate are traits we often pick up early in life if they were modelled to you. If letting go is something you regularly struggle with the good news is you there are strategies that can be learnt at any stage of life.
You can begin to notice when it shows up for you. You can then use learnt methods to help you understand, redirect and let go of the pattern.