7 Powerful Tips for succesful habit change
If you’ve read my previous blog on ‘‘Is it possible to change’ then you will already be familiar with the science of neuroplasticity and change. The blog on ‘The Gatekeeper to change’ gave an insight in to the importance of engaging our unconscious mind.
You will have an understanding how it is possible to change and create a new habit or way of being.
In this blog I will expand on some of the common pitfalls people experience along the way with change. I will also share 7 powerful tips on how to get what you want in the longer term.
what is it you want?
First of all it is important to get clear on what it is you want. If you are trying to hit a target you need to know exactly what it looks like otherwise you don’t know what direction you are aiming for. Be as specific as possible in stating what it is you want.
It is worth checking in that you do ‘want’ it at this stage. You want to change. Be mindful that it isn’t a ‘I ought to’ or ‘should do it’. Is the change for you or is it someone else’s? These things will effect your motivation to sustain the change.
2. are you positive?
State what you want in the positive. If you’re first thought is ‘I don’t want to keep snacking between meals’ then convert it to ‘I want to choose what I eat and when’. This is because our unconscious mind doesn’t hear the negative. It tunes in to main body of the sentence and message being conveyed. If I asked you to not think about the pink elephant it is likely your mind conjured up the image of a pink elephant, despite me stating not to. It is why if we tell children not to run, they hear ‘RUN’!
3. what will having it get for you?
One of the keys to change is emotion. If you really want something people will use phrases like ‘it’s my hearts desire’, ‘I wholeheartedly agree’, my heart is aching for it’ or if they don’t; ‘her heart wasn’t in it’. We unconsciously know that if we emotionally connect to the goal, it holds value to us emotionally we are more likely to achieve it. You may notice that the adverts that evoke the most emotion in us are the ones that stick. The John Lewis Christmas advert is a good example of this and Nike use emotion to motivate in many of their ads. So what emotion can you tie to achieving your change? How will it feel when you have it? What will it bring you? What will it give those around you? The stronger the emotion you can anchor to it the better. In moments when you are tempted to relent, evoke the emotion of what changing will give to you.
4. Be prepared for the bumps & dips
Starting something new is a journey. There are stages in the cycle within the journey that can almost be predicted. As you step over the threshold and make the commitment there can be times where it can seem like things are conspiring against you. Know that these times will crop up and are part of the cycle. See these moments as a test to check in that you really do want this. Plan for them and have strategies. It may be external influences that can appear to be barriers or it may come from within.
Plan by writing down your reasons for making a change as detailed above in steps 1 and 2. Add any images you have to portray what your goal is. The unconscious mind responds to imagery better as it doesn’t have language. Utilise ways you have used in the past that have been successful to harness your will power to continue.
If the block is more internal look in to your past. What role have you played in not taking on the new habit or not? You know ‘you’ best and so by planning for the times you know you can struggle, perhaps that is a time of day or day of the week when your motivation dips; prepare yourself for those times and how best to navigate those moments.
Know that when these moments have passed you can reflect back and notice how you have moved past them. These tests are an opportunity to show you that you are doing this; you are making a change and you are succeeding!
5. tell others
A study showed that by telling others and being held accountable for reaching your goal you were 65% more likely to achieve it. It is part of this model that weight loss groups can be so successful. Knowing you will be attending a meeting and your weight loss recorded it can hone your focus and intention. So tell those around you that can support you. Ask them to check in on your progress and be your cheerleaders during your change.
6. commitment
To embed a new neural pathway takes time and so commitment. There has been claims that it takes 21 days to wire in a new habit. The study by Lally et al. (2009) showed that in fact it can range significantly. Simpler tasks can take a matter of weeks however bigger changes with interconnecting drivers such as beliefs, chemical interactions and secondary gains take longer.
I believe the best way to take on a change you wish to keep is to think of it as a life style choice.
You commit to this change and adopt it in to your every day way of being.
If you notice that there are several factors at play, committing to working with a coach can give you the extra support and facilitate through all the stages of the change you want.
7. celebrate your wins!
Lastly, set your self markers along the way to notice when you are achieving your desired change. Much like the markers along a motorway to gauge distance, put things in place so you can celebrate the progress you are making and reflect on your achievement. Show yourself the pride and joy you would a loved one for making progress and for your successes.